When my son David turned three, my husband and I decided we would parent him differently than the way our friends were parenting their children. Not that we don’t agree with their parenting style, it’s because our son David is a strong-willed child. He is indeed, the younger version of Mohammad Ali who is not afraid to put on his boxing gloves and get in the ring and go toe to toe with you. If your feet are not planted on the ground, the blows he throws will knock you down.
Giving him simple choices and allowing him to make decisions concerning his life allows our home to remain like Buddha’s Temple. Yes! That’s the way we like it. Often it’s very hard for me, especially because David will choose the opposite of whatever he thinks we want for him. But I swallow my hurt and I allow him to be who he is. You know the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.
I’ve been watching him making his own decisions for a couple of years now. Making decisions seems easy and effortless for him, until this past weekend when David had to decide if he was going to go to the aquarium with his best friend Liam or spend the day at Pyper’s house.
The decision was especially hard for him because it was Liam’s birthday. Liam was not having a birthday party this year so his mother allowed him to pick a friend to go and spend the day at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. This is something Liam’s been wanting to do for a long time. Liam’s mother had me save the date a month ago; however, I forgot to put it on the calendar and I scheduled for David to go spend the day at Pyper’s house. You see, Pyper is not just any girl, she’s the girl David is planning on marrying. On his third birthday he said, “Mom I’m going to marry her.” How exactly do you know who you are going to marry at the age of three? Folks, I don’t have an explanation for this except time has changed.
At first, David decided he would go to Pyper’s house instead. Of course that’s the right choice. If you had to choose between spending the day with the girl you love or your best friend, you would naturally choose the girl. But we then reminded him that it was Liam’s birthday and Liam had chosen him as the special friend to go with him to the aquarium. Man, I watched my five-year old agonize over the decision of whether he should go spend the day with the girl or go to the aquarium with his best friend. The decision was so hard for him he said, “Mom it’s hard to choose. I haven’t seen Pyper in months but it’s Liam birthday and he is going to be very upset.” To help David make a decision we sat down with him and educated him on the meaning of friendship and we helped him come up with the pros and cons of both choices.
I’ve been making my own decisions since I was five years old. I know first hand how hard it is to make decisions, especially when you want to make sure you’ve made the right one. I learned a lot watching my five-year-old son agonize over which choice was best, not only for himself but for everyone involved.
Are you struggling with the decision to leave your corporate job behind? It’s hard, even for an adult to make decisions. You might be faced with some tough decisions in your life right now. Deciding whether or not you want to stay on the path you are on or take the plunge and become your own boss. Or maybe you are asking, “Should I pay off my credit cards or save enough money to buy a house?” “Should I continue my hour-long commute to work or should I find a job closer to home?” “Should I focus on starting my business or should I focus on my relationship?” Whatever the decision is, it’s never simple. But decisions are a part of the life cycle.
Every day you have decisions to make. Some you make effortlessly with no major thought process involved. You naturally get up and brush your teeth in the morning. You get dressed and go to work. You don’t have to question these decisions. They are just a part of what you do. But still they are decisions. You could have chosen to stay in bed and not go to work. But what about when you have to make those big decisions, the ones that can change the course of your life? What do you do? What process do you use to make these life changing decisions?
Here’s what I have learned when it comes to decisions. You always have a choice and the choice is yours. Not everyone is going to be happy with the decisions you make; however, it is your life and if you don’t decide someone else will decide for you. You have a choice to stay stuck or a choice to create the life you want. Today you can decide to stay broke, confused, and unfulfilled or you can choose to create a life of freedom, joy, and abundance. Decisions are there to push you along your journey. So you don’t want to put off any major life decisions. You want to decide now because only when you decide can you start creating the life you want. Making decisions and making them quickly will not only allow you to create the life you want it will also bring you peace of mind. Having peace of mind means more joy in your life and more joy means more abundance, and more abundance means what? You get my drift.
At the end of the day, David was able to put his desire to see the girl aside and he followed his gut. He went to the aquarium to celebrate his best friend’s birthday. When he got home he said, “Mom, I made the right choice.” I asked him, “How do you know you made the right choice?” He said, “Because I was able to sleep last night and it felt good.”
The right choice always feels good. It’s a lesson I learned several decades ago. If you don’t know if you’ve made the right decision, remember David’s wise words. It will feel good.
Your friend in abundance,
Are you struggling with whether or not you should quit your job and start your own business? What’s your biggest challenge? I wanna hear from you. Please leave me a comment